Harmonic Grouping
My reaction to a conflict situation can be very different from yours. Or it can be the same, for that matter. It all depends on whether or not we are in the same boat. According to the Enneagram, each Triad handles challenges, obstacles, and disappointment in a particular way although there are variations within a Triad. This post is about the Harmonic Grouping which tackles the issue of default strategies to resolve conflicts.
Positive Outlook
Nines, Twos and Sevens tend to respond to hardships in a positive way – although each type has its own variation of being positive.
NINES generally believe that problems will take care of themselves, sooner or later, so why bother? They have a tendency to idealize the world anyhow so they can have a hard time dealing with problems in general. Also, very often they deny or ignore the very existence of any problems because of their unwillingness to rock the status quo or swing into motion.
TWOS think of themselves as good people and they believe that their good intentions will win them positive approval from others. They are ready to help others out, even at the cost of sacrificing their own well-being.
SEVENS are notorious pain-avoiders so they naturally look for what is positive in a challenging (or any) situation. Their cheerful attitude makes them expect the best possible outcome. Very often they just move on to happier things so that they do not stay with anything which could depress them.
And what is the blind-spot of the Positive Outlook group? It has a tendency to overlook, ignore problems or denying them altogether.
Competency Group
Ones, Threes and Fives want to resolve conflicts with competence – each in their own way.
ONES tend to focus on solving problems by doing what is right. They want to be competent by adhering to rules and guidelines, and by being correct and acting in a fair way. What they do is channeling their frustrations into activity thus expect to come to a just solution.
THREES are real efficiency experts solving problems in a competent and logical way. In a conflict situation the do not find it difficult to set aside their emotions and focus on the task at hand.
FIVES are good at meeting challenges by relying on their cognitive competencies. Also, they know where to turn to for expertise and well-informed decisions. In order to be objective, Fives are able to detach themselves emotionally and zoom in on the problem. The often come up with original ideas other have not even thought of.
And what is the blind-spot of the Competency Group? It has a tendency to disregard emotions. Feelings, however, sometimes just cannot be ignored if you want to find a suitable solution.
Reactive Group
Fours, Sixes and Eights, when facing a conflict or challenge, tend to vent their frustration by having strong opinions and feelings about the issue at hand. They are inclined to react emotionally, and at the same time, expect others to understand their despair and negative feelings.
FOURS expect empathy from others when facing a challenge or difficult situation. They do not fail to hide their emotions and need time to process them. Until this happens they find comfort in sharing their pain, which they usually identify themselves with. Their self-absorption can get them into a downward spiral which does not help effective trouble-shooting.
SIXES are often called ’walking contradictions. Even though they are natural trouble-shooters, their level of fear or anxiety can sky-rocket in an instant. They either gather around them supporters to feel secure, try to solve their problem independently, or stay engaged by being defensive. Whichever the case, they remain doubtful, suspicious and usually pessimistic ( ‘realistic’ in their terminology).
EIGHTS do not shy away from giving voice to their frustrations and adherence to control. Their mistrust in others makes them want to rely on their own resources. Eights have a strong opinion about how things ought to be, and they also like to know where others stand.
Blind-spot of this group? They can all get carried away by their strong emotions – which obviously does not help find a well-balanced solution.
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